My 3 main takeaways from “Saying No: Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Academia” – another awesome workshop on the Bloomsbury Postgraduate Skills Network for doctoral students in London.
1) Have a repertoire for all the ways you might say “No”
There’s:
- The Direct “No”.
- The Reflecting “No” – when you show some compassion while saying “No”.
- The Reasoned “No” – when you explain why you are saying “No”.
- The Raincheck “No” – not a permanent “No”, but maybe a “Yes” later.
- The Enquiring “No” – saying “No” but trying to offer an alternative solution.
- The Broken Record “No” – when you have to say “No “repeatedly.
From Trevor Powell – ‘The Mental Health Handbook’
🎯🎯🎯 Learn, practice, and be ready to deploy any of these to say “No”.
2) Have hard boundaries
“Saying No isn’t so bad if you have hard evidence that it’s the only reasonable answer“
From Cal Newport – ‘Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout’
🎯🎯🎯 Define hard boundaries for your job role, research project or relationship, so that declining the request is the only reasonable answer, and both you and the asker can clearly see the evidence for the No.
3) Saying “Yes” has an opportunity cost
🎯🎯🎯 If you are saying “Yes” to this request, which of your own goals are you saying “No” to?
Thanks to Catherine Pope, Natalie James (https://researchcoach.co.uk/), BPSN and SOAS University of London
